A quarrel happened because of a plumber. A quarrel that caused me to think if moving out would be a better option. This time is for real. How many knives do u need to kill? How many hurting words do u need to challenge me every year. I am afraid if I will tolerate all these every year, everytime, my love for you would take an exit through the back door. I don't want to feel relieve on the day u pass away. Cos, the relief belongs to you. I want to miss your love and care when you are no longer around. You have taught me through all these years of scolding to appreciate you lesser. Am I cold-hearted? I wish I'm not...
I want a space conducive for exams- December 2nd. I've asked for signs to move. Probably, leaving you for awhile would me healthier for my heart and mind. Don't even demand for $400, you might caused me to be colder inside. The recollection sent tears to my eyes. I can't sense that bit of gratitude or appreciation for all you've done for me. All that I see was a sheet of emptiness, cold wars and curses. Where's the love that is felt in my heart?
Meeting new people, going to a new church with no familiar friends has caused me to look within myself. Reflected on the past, asked questions about how I'm living and as a Christian. It seemed like I've lived a self centered life for the last 10 years. It is so subtle, till you decide to look beyond and judge lesser. I know this is a new season in my life. Be thankful again to see what's good. be thankful again for the people and the friendships I;ve been blessed with. Thankful for the most subtle words and acts.
